The Five Stages of Grief

Picture of Adrienne Crew

Adrienne Crew

Adrienne is Qualified Counsellor and Psychotherapist based in Wetherby and Leeds

The Five Stages of Grief developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, are often talked about as if they happen in order.

The five stages being denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

People can experience these ’stages’ of grief at various times and they do not happen in one particular order.

DENIAL – feeling numb. Some people can continue as if nothing has happened, even when they know in their hearts someone has died.

ANGER – A natural emotion. Death seems cruel, especially when you feel someone has died before their time.

BARGAINING – This is when a person starts to make deals with themselves. If they act in a certain way, they will feel better, and their loved one will be in a ‘better place.’ It is also common to find that the person who is in grief asks many “what if’ questions, and ‘Why,’ wishing they could go back and change things.

DEPRESSION – Sadness and longing, resulting in strong pain comes and goes like waves. Life can feel it no longer holds any meaning.

ACCEPTANCE – Back to a new different normal.

After the death of my son nearly 5 years ago, new routines helped me ground myself to a new way of life. I started to make goals for the future that once seemed impossible.

I never lose sight of his presence in my everyday life, and this has in turn clearly deepened my counselling work, and my faith.

It is all about rebuilding a meaning to your life, remembering happy times ahead can be had with living loved ones, but always in my heart, my son’s death will be part of me, my past, and be a significant part of my future.

Scroll to Top